Originally, courtoisie meant simply "proper behavior at court" and has evolved into our modern term "courtesy," meaning simply "good manners." But in the context of the medieval romance, the term had special meaning, encompassing not only general behavior at court, but, more specifically, behavior towards women. Chretien de Troyes' third romance, The Knight of the Cart, was written at the request of Marie de Champagne, to whom Chretien begins with a dedication, making clear that the subject matter is her idea. After much flattery to Marie, Chretien writes, "Chretien begins this book about the Knight of the Cart; the subject matter and meaning are furnished to him by the countess, and he strives carefully to add nothing but his effort and careful attention" (207). This "medieval disclaimer" likely serves to let Chretien off the hook for the first story about Lancelot’s adulterous affair with Guenivere. That Chretien was uncomfortable with courtly love could also be apparent by the fact that he did not finish the work himself but allowed another writer to do so.
The medieval concept of courtly love is clearly laid out in the work another medieval author, Andreas Capallanus, whose Art of Courtly Love, a reworking of Ovid’s The Art of Love, presents a veritable rule book for adulterous lovers. Whereas Ovid’s work was intended to be a parody, Capallanus’s work seems to have been taken seriously, at least by Marie de Champagne, who commissioned him to write it. It is said that Marie and her mother, Eleanor of Aquitaine, held "courts of love" in which lovers presented their grievances while Marie and Eleanor served as sort of medieval "Dear Abbys." More certain is that courtly love is an integral part of the medieval romance, most likely created by noble women who would have married for political reasons rather than for love.